Why You're Dreaming About Someone You Haven't Talked To In Years (2024)

When you find yourself dreaming about someone you’re no longer friends with or haven't seen in a long time, you'll probably wake up confused. Dreams about someone from your past may have you wondering if you should reconnect with that person, or what it even means when they enter your nighttime thoughts. But, in reality, a dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore isn’t really about the ghosts from your past — it has more to do with yourself.

Read more: What Do Dreams About Cats Mean? Here's What Experts Say

It's actually common to dream about people who are currently in your life. Theresa Cheung, the author of The Dream Dictionary From A To Z, previously wrote for Bustle: “Friends typically play an important part in your life so, of course, they are going to meet you and you are going to meet them again and again in your dreams.” When you appear in other people’s dreams, it feels good to know that they’re thinking about you. According to Jungian dream interpretation, the people who appear in dreams reflect your inner life and aspects of your own personality.

For many reasons, it can be jarring when the ghost of someone you don’t speak to anymore reappears in a dream, especially if you stopped speaking for painful reasons. When you occasionally find yourself dreaming about people from your past that you haven't seen or even thought of in a long time, it can have you overthinking in spirals. "The thing to remember about dreams is that everything and everyone in your dream represents some part of you or something that directly affects you," professional dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells Bustle. "That being said, when you dream of a person you haven't seen in forever, or a person you don't deal with on a daily basis, or someone who doesn't even actually exist, they will represent a part of your personality."

Dreaming about other people can be a way for you to gain a better understanding of yourself and your behavior. If there's something that needs to be worked through and addressed in your waking life, it might show up in your dream in some way. Many times, it will show up in the form of a person in your past or present, even if you are no longer friends. Before you rush to conclusions, here's what dream experts have to say.

What It Means If You Dream About Someone You Don’t Talk To Anymore

Many people will dream about old friends and classmates from all the way back in elementary school. It can be a little strange, especially if you haven't seen or heard from a particular person in years. Does it mean that you should rush to get back in touch with them? According to Cheung, no. “Their appearance in your dream scene is a metaphor for some neglected or forgotten aspect of yourself that you'd like to reconnect with or could benefit from reconnecting with,” she wrote. Think about the person that you once knew and the traits they have that stick out to you the most. According to Loewenberg, that outstanding quality or fault is a trait that you may have or want.

"There was a time when I kept dreaming about this kid named Jeff from third grade," Loewenberg says. "I don't remember his last name, but I do remember that he was the shyest person I've ever known. I realized, he would show up in my dreams when I wasn't speaking up about something in real life ... on something I needed to. My subconscious was saying to me, 'Well you may as well just be Jeff.'" Maybe there are qualities in that person that you either wish you had more of or less of in your life. Identifying that in yourself is the first step when you wake up–not reaching for Facebook to see what they’re up to now.

It doesn't matter what the person is like now. They're showing up in your dream as a way for you to pay attention to something important that needs to be addressed in your life at the moment. Studies show that your dream consciousness is very similar to your waking consciousness, so dreaming about someone you don’t talk to anymore points to daily emotions you’re currently feeling (and may need to process). In some cases, perhaps there is something left unresolved with either the person who is no longer in your life or yourself that you need to deal with.

You should also take note of how people from your past are acting in your dream. For instance, are they helping you, or are they angry? According to Loewenberg, their behavior in the dream will be directly connected to how a part of you is behaving in real life. "They're showing you this behavior from a different perspective so you can better understand yourself," she says. Analyzing the dream and turning it into your own life is one method to get to the root of what's been on your mind lately.

People will randomly show up in your dreams for all kinds of different reasons. If you're into astrology, Joy Strong, transformation life coach and professional dream analyst, tells Bustle that planetary retrogrades can stimulate subconscious thoughts from the past to reappear.

"It's important to consider that just because someone shows up in your awareness does not dictate whether or not they should have a current role in your life," Strong says. This is important to keep in mind if you find yourself dreaming about an ex you haven't thought about in forever and you're wondering if you should reach out. If you don’t talk to that person anymore, there’s likely a very good reason, and reminding yourself of that is key for inner peace.

Dreams have more to say about you than the people in them. So if you find yourself dreaming about anyone from your past or present, think about what they could represent in your own life. If they're showing up in your dream, there's something worth paying attention to.

Additional reporting by Marianne Eloise

Studies referenced:

Franklin, M.S. (2005). The Role of Dreams in the Evolution of the Human Mind, Sage Journals, https://doi.org/10.1177/147470490500300106.

Nir, Y. (2010), Dreaming and the brain: from phenomenology to neurophysiology, Trends Cogn Sci., https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2814941/.

Sources interviewed:

Lauri Loewenberg, dream expert, author of Dream on It, Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life

Joy Strong, transformation life coach and professional dream analyst

This article was originally published on

Why You're Dreaming About Someone You Haven't Talked To In Years (2024)

FAQs

Why do I keep dreaming about someone I haven't spoken to in years? ›

Dreaming about a friend you haven't seen in years might symbolically represent a subconscious yearning for reconnection or a desire to find closure for unresolved feelings. Or it might indicate a broader desire for more social connection and companionship in general.

What does it mean if you keep dreaming about someone you don't talk to anymore? ›

Dreams of someone you no longer communicate with could signify qualities in yourself that deserve recognition or need to be nurtured. These dreams can serve as a reminder for fostering the unique attributes inside of us and ultimately striving towards becoming our best selves.

Is it true that if a person appears in your dream they want to see you? ›

Dreaming about someone is typically a sign that your brain is processing information, not necessarily that the person in your dream is thinking about you. A person appearing in your dream could have manifested themselves there or may be trying to send you a telepathic message.

Why did I dream about someone I barely know or speak to? ›

Psychologically, they are considered manifestations of our subconscious thoughts, fears, and desires. When you dream about someone you hardly know, it's not just a random occurrence; it could be your mind's way of processing your daily interactions or unspoken emotions.

When you dream of someone, are they thinking of you? ›

Scientifically speaking, there's no evidence to confirm that when you dream about someone, it means they're thinking of you. That said, the theory of Jungian Psychoanalysis and other depth psychologies1 do suggest that the people you see in your dreams are psychological symbols created by our unconscious minds.

What does it mean if you keep dreaming of someone? ›

Dreaming of someone repeatedly can indicate you like having them around. If you feel safe and supported around someone, your recurring dreams might reveal that they're your comfort person.

Is it true if you see someone in your dream they miss you? ›

Dreaming about someone expressing they miss you indicates that you will both be overjoyed to run into one other. He or she is someone with whom you have had a good time and who has meant a lot to you. You have gone your own path without even recognizing it. This interaction is beneficial to you.

What is the spiritual meaning of dreaming about someone? ›

Dreaming about the same person might indicate that you have unresolved issues with them. Reaching out to them about the problem might ease your stress. A repeated dream about a loved one who's passed might indicate that you're still grieving. Reach out to your community for support and avoid self-isolating.

What if you can't stop dreaming about someone? ›

Dreaming can help our brains sort through information while we sleep. Dr Mayer also said that dreaming about someone over and over again shouldn't be interpreted in a literal way. That person might be symbolising certain stress or anxiety we are going through.

What makes someone appear in your dream? ›

Dreaming about someone often reflects your recent interactions, thoughts or feelings towards that person, indicating they play a significant role in your daily life or subconscious mind.

What does psychology say about someone appearing in your dreams? ›

If you dream about someone, it signifies the notion that they have affected your life in many ways. There is a deep connection here that transcends time and logic. Even if you're no longer in touch, the cord that finds you together cannot simply be cut off. Your connection is strong and will last a lifetime.

Does dreaming about someone mean anything? ›

“Dreaming about a friend or ex-friend often mirrors aspects of your social connections and emotional bonds,” Dr Matutyte says. “Positive dreams may signify feelings of support, while challenging dreams may point to unresolved conflicts or changes in the relationship dynamic.”

Why do we dream of someone? ›

Some reasons we dream about others include random brain activity, consolidating memories, reducing mental clutter, and emotional processing.

When someone keeps appearing in your dreams? ›

A lot of the times, dreaming of a specific someone (a friend, relative, or ex) is your minds way of telling you that you need to come to terms with something related to that person. Maybe you've misunderstood something about them or something they did just didn't sit right with you.

What is it called when your dreams happen in real life? ›

Precognitive phenomena

Precognitive dreams are the most widely reported occurrences of precognition. Usually, a dream or vision can only be identified as precognitive after the putative event has taken place. When such an event occurs after a dream, it is said to have "broken the dream".

Why do I keep dreaming about the same person from my past? ›

Your dream may be a way of dealing with loss and grief, especially if someone close has passed away. If you have nightmares about someone, it may signify that you are trying to keep them safe (such as a child) Dreaming of someone from your past may be a sign that you want them back in your life.

Why do I keep dreaming of someone I haven't seen in months? ›

In some cases, perhaps there is something left unresolved with either the person who is no longer in your life or yourself that you need to deal with. You should also take note of how people from your past are acting in your dream.

Are dreams your subconscious telling you something? ›

Dreams come from your subconscious, and oftentimes your subconscious knows more about the inner workings of your body than you do. That's why you should pay close attention to your dream. Is there some part of your dream that is giving you difficulties?

Why do I keep dreaming about someone I don't know? ›

"When we dream about people we've never met, they could be a placeholder for someone we do not want to see, for whatever reason," Jeffrey notes. But these strangers could also be a manifestation of a part of ourselves that's not yet known or familiar.

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